"Dumb Male Blondes"

There were two blonde guys working for the city council. One would dig a hole, the other would follow behind him and fill the hole in.

They worked furiously all day without rest, one guy digging a hole, the other guy filling it in again.

An onlooker was amazed at their hard work, but couldn't understand what they were doing.

So he asked the hole digger, "I appreciate the effort you are putting into your work, but what's the story? You dig a hole and your partner follows behind and fills it up again."

The hole digger wiped his brow and sighed,
"Well, normally we are a three-man team, but the guy who plants the trees called in sick today.
Top

"Firing Squad"

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are all captured by a group of armed terrorists. The three women are told that they are going to be killed one at a time.

The men line up like a firing squad and the redhead is brought before them. The man in charge asks, "Do you have any last words before we kill you?" and the redhead answers, "Flood!" The men panic and run for high ground while the redhead gets away.

They figure out that they've been fooled, and come back. After lining up they bring out the brunette. Again the commander asks if the prisoner has any last words. The brunette answers, "Tornado!" When the men run for cover, she too gets away.

The blonde, watching the whole time smirks. "I've got it covered," she thinks. "No problem." So the firing squad brings her before them. "Have you any last words?" asks the commander. Grinning, the blonde instantly shouts, "Fire!"
Top

"Blonde V Blonde"

A blonde was speeding in a 35 mile per hour zone when a local police cruiser pulled her over and the officer walked up to the car. The female police officer also happened to be a blonde and she asked for the blonde's driver's license. The driver searched frantically in her purse for a while and finally said to the blonde policewoman "What does a driver's license look like?" Irritated, the blonde cop said "You dummy, it's got your picture on it!" The blonde driver frantically searched her purse again and found a small rectangular mirror down at the bottom. She held it up to her face and said, "Aha! This must be my driver's license" and handed it to the blonde policewoman. The blonde cop looked in the mirror, handed it back to the driver and said, "You're free to go. And, if I had known you were a police officer too, we could have avoided all this hassle."
Top

"blonde puzzle"

 3 blondes walk in to a bar and start to do a puzzle and 45 minutes later they have finished it so one of them stands on a table and says we're tired of being called stupid so we did this puzzle in 45minutes and it says 2-3 years on the box.
Top

"Blonde Bet"

One day a blonde and a brunette were meeting for lunch at a bar. The bar tender turned on the 6 o'clock news. And there was a 45 year old man getting ready to jump off a bridge. The brunette said to the blonde "I will bet you $5 that he jumps". The blonde accepted the bet. 5 minutes later the man jumped so the blonde paid the brunette. The brunette said "I cant take your money because I saw him jump on the 5 o'clock news". The blonde said "so did I but I didn't think he would be stupid enough to jump again".
Top

Trucker

 A trucker came into a truck stop cafe and placed his order. He said "I want three flat tires, a pair of headlights and a pair
of running boards."
The brand new blonde waitress, not wanting to appear stupid, went  to the kitchen and said to the cook, "This guy out there just ordered three flat tires, a pair of headlights and a pair of running boards. What does he think this place is... an auto parts store?"
"No," the cook said. "Three flats tires means three pancakes, a pair of headlights is two eggs sunny side up, and running boards are 2
slices crisp bacon."
" Oh, OK!" said the blonde.
She thought about it for a moment and then spooned up a bowl of  beans and gave it to the customer.
The trucker asked, "What are the beans for, Blondie?"
She replied, "I thought while you were waiting for the flat tires, headlights and running boards, you might want to gas up!"

contributed by Dalin
Top

Blonde and the Casino

 Two bored casino dealers are waiting at the craps table. A very attractive blonde woman arrived and bet twenty thousand dollars ($20,000) on a single roll of the dice.

 She said, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm completely nude."

With that, she stripped down, rolled the dice and yelled, "Come on, baby, Mama needs new clothes!"  As the dice came to a stop she jumped up and down and squealed... "YES!  YES! I WON, I WON!"

She hugged each of the dealers and then picked up her winnings and her clothes and quickly departed. The dealers stared at each other dumfounded. Finally, one of them asked, "What did she roll?"  The other answered, "I don't know - I thought you were watching."

Moral - Not all blondes are dumb, but all men are men.

Top

BLONDE LOGIC
Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking, and one blonde says to the other, "Which do you think is farther away... Florida or the moon?"
The other blonde turns and says "Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida ?????"

CAR TROUBLE

A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died.
After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.
She says, "What's the story?"
He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor"
She asks, "How often do I have to do that?"

SPEEDING TICKET

A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license.
She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!"

RIVER WALK

There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank. "Yoo-hoo!" she shouts, "How can I get to the other side?"
The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back, "You ARE on the other side."

 Top

AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE  

A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it.
"Impossible!" says the doctor. "Show me."
The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed even more. She pushed her knee and screamed;
likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream.
The doctor said, "You're not really a redhead, are you?
"Well, no" she said, "I'm actually a blonde."
"I thought so," the doctor said. "Your finger is broken."

KNITTING

A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting!
Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, "PULL OVER!"
"NO!" the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"

Top

 BLONDE ON THE SUN
A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day. The Russian said, "We were the first in space!"
The American said, "We were the first on the moon!"
The Blonde said, "So what? We're going to be the first on the sun!"
The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads. "You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!" said the Russian.
To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you know. We're going at night!"

IN A VACUUM
A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one n ight. It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?"
She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"

FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!

A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named
Rolex and one was named Timex. Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?"
"HELLLOOOOOOO......," answered the blond. "They're watch dogs!"

Top